Do you have a sacred sanctuary you can go to and take a breather? Do you take moments of peace when they are presented to you? Do you get enough sleep? Is exercise a part of your life? Do you have resources available that will give you time to yourself if you need it? Do you write or have some other method for releasing pent up emotions?
D = Down-time to reconnect.
Over the next six weeks, I will be writing about my “D-I-A-P-E-R” for Life Strategy. This is a six-part formula for how I handle the proverbial cr** of motherhood. Being a mom could be described as the toughest job in the world. And, indeed, it is. However, I have my six step process for staying sane in the midst of so much laundry and poopy diapers. I came up with the “D-I-A-P-E-R” for Life because the word diaper figures prominently in my experience of life and it seemed appropriate to reflect on the deeper meaning behind this six letter word.
Whatever images the word conjures in your mind, they probably are not pretty. That’s exactly how it should be. Yet, because of the diaper, we have a container for the mess of bodily functions. With a little work on our part, we can clean it up and move on with our day. Having something of similar usefulness for our lives seems a very practical thing to ponder. Thus, the “D-I-A-P-E-R” for Life Strategy was invented. The first thing I always remember is to create moments of down-time every day. These quiet interludes may last 30 seconds or for an hour or more. All I need is enough time to take a deep breath and reconnect with my center (a.k.a. my sanity).
Having the “D” reminder in the forefront of my consciousness allows me to take advantage of the peaceful moment in the bathroom, or the car, or the kitchen, or wherever. I have a green chair where I purposely go when I need to take a moment just for myself to breathe. My showers are sacred times when I can stand in silence and wash the chaos off my skin. My lights go out at 9pm with the kids so that I can lie in bed and enjoy the peacefulness for as long as possible before I fall asleep. Walks with my toddler in the stroller and my infant in the sling make for opportunities to use exercise for the releasing of pent up negative energy.
When none of the above strategies is enough and I really just need an hour or two on my own, I can schedule in a morning for my toddler at one of the drop-in play centers in three of the adjoining towns. If I really need a break, I can use the sitter service. Sometimes I use these services to give me a block of time in which I can go to the coffee shop and write for three hours. Writing helps me to articulate what I am feeling so that I can recognize and be done with it. It always helps me come up with new ways of perceiving my situation. It is without a doubt one of the best therapies there is.
These strategies are all designed to create the down-time necessary for any mom to reconnect with herself. We are human beings first and foremost, with thoughts and feelings all our own. Being mom comes after being me. When I forget that, well, that is when the metaphorical cr** enters my life. The “D-I-A-P-E-R” for Life Strategy helps me clean up whatever emotional fallout has resulted. From there, I can move on with my day. Without the awareness that down-time is an essential component of my overall approach to parenting, I would inevitably feel frazzled most of the time. Fortunately for me (and my kids), it has become routine to take care of me.
Next week, we will take a look at “I” – Imagine yourself in your child’s position.
Leta Hamilton
Host, "The Way of the Toddler Hour"
Podcasts and guest info at www.letahamilton.com
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