Second Marriages:

I bet that half of you out there are in second marriages. And you’re probably very much like a couple that I see over and over. I’ll give you an example of one of the couples. She has kids, and he doesn’t. He married her when the kids were little, and he’s raised them most of their lives. They’ve been together 25 years, and he couldn’t love those kids more, if they were his own.

The problem? She’s mother to the core! She’s afraid to leave her share of the money to him, because he might find a new wife, and then the kids won’t get any. No amount of assurances from him will make her stop being the mother hen that she is. Her kids have to be taken care of. And that new wife is going to steal it! She’s sure of it!

The flip story is the man who marries the younger woman, and he has the kids. He has more money, and he definitely wants his wife to be cared for. But he feels the same pressure: he wants to know that his kids are going to get something. And the kids have an ax to grind…she’s so darn young, they’ll be 65 before she dies! So they feel like they’ll never see the money that Dad would have left them. The pressure is on!

Each one has valid concerns, and each partner feels hurt to think that the other doesn’t trust her or him. There’s a solution for this. It’s called the marital trust. Each of the partners puts his/her funds into a trust when one dies. The spouse gets income for life from the trust, and the kids get the bulk of the money when the spouse is gone. Sometimes we make sure that the kids get some right away. Life insurance is my favorite solution for this problem. It creates wealth.

Of course, the best solution is to have the prenuptial agreement. But you can still take care of many issues with a decent Will or Trust. Yes, you have to be honest about how you feel. Yes, you will actually have to talk this out. And yes, there may be some bumps. Don’t let that stop you. Love finds ways to help you get around the problems. If you don’t have the courage to solve them during life, then the kids and the spouse have to do it, and that could get nasty.

You can read more about the challenges and ways to solve your estate problems in my book, Where There’s A Will, There’s A Way! You can connect to my website from Chat with Women, or you can go directly to my site: www.wheretheresawilltheresaway.net.