I could write a book on this! As a former teacher and school counselor I can honestly say that teachers YEARN for parents who want to partner with them to encourage the success of their child. The key word here is “partner.”

Often parents take an offensive or defensive stance when communicating with teachers. There were plenty of times I had to sit on the phone (at the request of my principal) and listen to a parent explain why his/her child’s low grade was my fault. Then I would go home and cry. The teacher is not the enemy. The teacher is your best chance for your child’s success.

Teachers don’t get a lot of respect and teaching is EXHAUSTING. Imagine a class of 30+ students, 5 times a day, each one thinking that they are the center of the universe in some way or another. That summer holiday that people envy? It’s for recuperating, believe me.

So the best approach is to butter up the teacher. Here’s an example:

“I’m calling because I want to find out how we can best work together to support my child’s success in your class. I know that he/she can be (some challenging qualities) and that’s why I’m calling – I want you to have an easier time. Would you be willing to arrange a time for us to talk?”

If your child has a 504 plan or an IEP, gently remind them that although there are legal obligations, you also want to support his/her teaching.

And finally, gifts are nice too! A sincere note of thanks, a gift certificate to a restaurant or a bookstore, some flowers, or some cookies will go a long way. Teachers are human and they appreciate parents who are considerate.