Several years ago, a friend wanted to arrange a date for me with a man she knew from her service club. He was just ending a “miserable” divorce, she said, and he’d like to get out and start dating. So I said I’d meet him for coffee and conversation on a Friday evening. He was very nice, and we talked about his family, his kids. Eventually, I got around to asking about his divorce. “When will your divorce be final?” I asked. He stammered and said he wasn’t sure. “Well, how long ago did you file for the divorce?” More stammering. Finally, “Did you file, or did your wife?” No words came out of his mouth, only a confused expression. Now I asked, “Has either one of you filed for a divorce?” Well, he said he’d seen a lawyer, but he hadn’t signed any papers.

Realizing I was having a date with a very married man, I was none to happy. “So, how long have you been separated?” I quizzed. Now he really was stammering. “It’s been a long time,” he said. This was getting to be the question: bigger than a breadbox or smaller than a house? Eventually he said that he’d moved out three weeks ago.

I was fuming! But I was also smiling. I was going to get even with this man for wasting my time. He was a liar, a cheater and he deserved to be divorced. I let the topic drop, for about a half hour. Then I made my killer move.

“You know,” I said, “since you want to leave your wife, I suppose you don’t want to leave her your money.” Oh, no, he didn’t want that.

“Well, have you written a Will?” I asked with a smile on my lips.

No, he didn’t think so.

“You know, everybody has a Will. The State of Washington wrote one for you. It says that your wife gets all of your community property and half of your separate property. And when we were talking a while ago, you mentioned that you’d inherited an apartment complex from your father. So she’d get half of that. It doesn’t sound like that’s what you’d like to have happen.” I said.

The poor man was now clutching his coffee cup so tight, I thought it would crack.

“Noooo!” he moaned. “Maybe I could call my lawyer and see him tomorrow about getting a Will.”

“I don’t think so,” I said, trying to look sad for him. “You’ll probably have to wait till Monday.” Panic stuck his face.

When we parted, I said, “Now you drive carefully!” He deserved the miserable weekend which he was about to have!